I'm feeling indifferent... about so many things. I told my mother that maybe I should have been an some kind of writer and not a lawyer but I can't seem to get her support. Ha-ha, I guess we never actually realise how much our family and their opinion really means. But, I find myself in a place where I'm starting to not care anymore. People see so much in me that I can't even begin to see. I was called authentic and to be that is the greatest compliment to another I was told I was not a sheep, a non conformist and I didn't even know what that meant. People tell me they are jealous of me and how easy going I am and how I seem to be untouched, but it wasn't something that happened over night... well, I don't think it was and sometimes I don't even realise that, that is how I am portrayed.
Just the other day I was telling someone dear to me that sometimes people look to you for strength and for inspiration or guidance and even though you might not be feeling strong and you feel like the world is crushing down on you, you have no other choice but to fake it. I'm strong, but I think people think I'm a lot stronger than I am. Maybe, I am and I don't see that, but it would be fun to just lean on someone else for a while and regain my strength.
I was really thinking about giving up on this blogging thing because it's nice to keep some things to yourself when in reality you're living your life in the open. But when I heard that my writing was inspirational to some and other could relate that only encouraged me. I know not all my work are masterpieces and that's okay because we can't always be perfect. But I guess it's just enough to get up and look forward to doing something (:
No comments:
Post a Comment